‘The Voice’ Recap: Cee Lo Cries During The Final Battle Rounds
It’s the last installment of the battle rounds on “The Voice” (finally!) and you know what that means … You never have to look at the bedazzled discus Christina calls a hat ever again.
And in honor of the special occasion, our mom has joined us to mock Cee Lo’s silk pajamas, Carson’s struggle for relevancy and everything in between this week.
So without further ado, find out the final six contestants who will be making to the live shows below!
BATTLE: James Massone vs. Wade
Team: Cee Lo
Song: “True Colors” by Cyndi Lauper
Coadge Cee Lo paired these two baby faces (not a reference to mentor Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, but rather to the fact that they both have prepubescent faces) together for “True Colors,” because he’s Cee Lo and he’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that his battles are weird. This duo seems like a great match-up for an R&B duet, so let’s have them sing Cyndi Lauper instead. Why not?
Wade seems somewhat confident with the song choice, where as James, who is keeping his luscious locks out of his face with a headband now to ensure that his hair does not incite a grease fire, states that he has “never sang this song before.” Shocker. When James meets with his mentor, Ne-Yo, he, like so many contestants before him, seems to be letting his nerves get the best of him.
Chelsey: “It seems as though everything makes young James nervous.”
Jaimie: “His turtleneck makes me nervous.”
Mom: “He’s just frightened because he saw Cee Lo without shades for the first time. And Cee Lo’s PJs. He’s getting fatter.”
Wade meets with his mentor, Babyface, who says that he looks like a 12-year-old but reminds him of Al Green. We agree with half of that statement. Then, the two have their final rehearsal with Cee Lo, and Cee Lo is moved to tears.
Jaimie: “Cee Lo thinks if he says ‘man’ and ‘dude’ enough, it’s okay that he’s crying.”
Chelsey: “Why is he crying? What is going on?”
Jaimie: “Because he really wants James to remove his headband.”
Mom: “Psh. Crying is not one tear drop on a cheek.”
Battle time! As the baby faces start to sing, it feels like the song has been slowed down a bit too much, and the tempo feels off. James, who continues to remind us that he wants to get out of the “shawp” has a very unique voice, but this performance isn’t showcasing it very well. Wade, who normally has a very smooth voice, doesn’t seem to be giving us his best either. The last note of the song definitely leaves something to be desired. Jaimie does a pretty accurate phonetic impression: “raiiiin boooowwww ohhhh oowwww ohhh owww.”
Chelsey: “Oof. That was brutal.”
Jaimie: “The sheen on James’ lubed up hair is out of control.”
Chelsey: “Maybe if James stopped spending money on personalized letterman jackets he could get out of the shawp.”
The coadges unanimously lean towards James and his hair, and Cee Lo says that he had plans to take Wade to the end but was blown away by James’ performance so he has to go with him.
Jaimie: “I feel sad for Wade. And his smile.”
Chelsey: “At least he made his idol cry. He’s not going home empty handed.”
Mom: “I feel bad for him too but he’s gonna be a lawyer!”
Winner: Wade
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